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Pink Tulle Shit Post

February 25, 2019

 

I didn’t feel like writing multiple posts to cover all the horrifying pink tulle dresses. For some reason everyone showed up like it was prom? My favorites are at the bottom, but you’ll have to read through all this garbage first.

 

Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times

 

Gemma Chan. Honey, I’m really proud of you. You’ve had a great year. But for someone who’s playing fashion It Girl, Astrid Leong-Teo, why are you dressed like an inflatable pink lifeboat? It’s as if Valentino grabbed their grandmother’s shower curtains and stuck some armholes in it.

 

 

GETTY IMAGESSTEVE GRANITZ

 

 

Yes, yes, Kacey Musgraves looks like a giant loofah. The gown wouldn’t have been as heinous if she’d worn a less severe updo and replaced the nude lip with a brighter slip stain and softer eye. The only person I could imagine pulling this off is Chloë Sevigny.

 

GETTY IMAGESSTEVE GRANITZ

 

 

I don’t know who Linda Cardellini is and I don’t need to know who she is. This unfortunate tulle mullet dress tells me everything I need to know. She looks like my loofah grabbed some black pumps and dashed out the door.

 

Steve Granitz/WireImage

 

 

Angela Bassett looks beautiful. It’s a shame this boring Reem Acra isn’t doing her justice. The taffeta looks wrinkly and cheap, while the bow isn’t even big enough to make a 2006- Charlize-Theron-at-the-Oscars joke. As I’ve written about before, the thigh high slit is passé, a fact exacerbated by its poor construction.

 

Getty Images 

 

Sarah Paulson’s gown would’ve gotten away with just a “meh” if it weren’t for the cut outs. They’re unnecessary at best. It’s a poor attempt to draw attention to her waist because she’s already swimming in the big skirt and even bigger bib.

 

Getty Images 

 

Look, I’m not really invested in what Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet are wearing. I’m more interested in watching them gaze into each other’s eyes across the table. Second to watching Daniel Craig fiercely kiss Rachel Weisz as if he’s going to war. Bonet looks like a witch who runs a vintage boutique. Momoa is smiling like he still can’t believe he’s married to this goddess. Plus it’s super cute that they matched.

 

Best Pink Tulle: Helen Mirren

 

 Getty Images

 

Helen Mirren looks stunning in this Schiaparelli gown. Here’s why it works: Instead of the same old ballerina pink, this tulle is a blend of bright pink and orange, which gives the gown more dimension as she moves. There are no silly add ons, just a cinched waist and quarter length sleeves. The matching clutch and coral lipstick are a nice touch too.  

 

Honorable Mention: Maya Rudolph

 

 Getty Images

 

The first word that jumped to mind when I saw Maya Rudolph was magical. Sometimes more really is more. The ruffles, the floral print and the cape really jibe together. The simple hair and makeup complement the dress beautifully alongside those pretty drop earrings. My only gripe is that empire waist. It’s not my favorite silhouette, but I’ll let it slide because I love this dress so much.

 

Heaer image credit: GETTY IMAGES/MARK RALSTON

 

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