When life gives you lemons, f-ck sh-t up

I’ve waited to write about Lemonade, because I wanted to see what everyone else was saying first. There’s so much to unpack, you could write a thesis about each chapter. There have already been several think pieces, which are recommended reading for the Beyhive if you want to truly appreciate the film as a whole.

What’s so fascinating about Beyoncé is that even when she’s at her most vulnerable, she’s only showing us what she wants us to see. On Instagram. Through a filter. In her self-directed and produced documentary, Life Is But a Dream. Notice how she never gives interviews anymore, except when they’re on her terms. Beyonce will open up about her pain, but only when she can control the narrative.

On another note, can you imagine how painful it must’ve been to swallow her pride and ego to publicly admit that her man has played her for a fool? Possibly several times? Yeah, she’s driving a monster truck over cars and busting open shop windows, but at the heart of it is a woman who felt like she wasn’t enough. A GLOBAL SUPERSTAR who felt like she had to be “prettier,” “softer.” This is the first time we have been able to relate to someone who’s practically lived in a different universe from us.

Not that she doesn’t make Jay Z pay. After spending the first half of the film talking about infidelity and “side chicks,” Beyoncé's estranged husband is literally kissing her feet in “Sandcastles.” Only after making him eat sh-t does she forgive him.

What’s most gut wrenching about the narrative is her effort to break the “curse.” Trying to reconcile with a man who reminds her of her father, who, “like a magician,” can be in two places at once.

“And then, at 3am, you come home and lie to me.”

I got chills when she mused wearing the side chick’s body, to become his “perfect woman.”

The woman in question, “Becky with the good hair,” is possibly the most legendary blind item of all time. Because even after graciously forgiving her man for cheating, Beyoncé still threw shade at his side b-tch in a little footnote of “Sorry.”

Even more amazing, Rachel Roy, ex-wife of Jay Z’s ex business partner, instagrammed her “good hair” the night of the Lemonade premiere.

Stupid, stupid mistake. Hell hath no fury like the Beyhive.

If she did have an affair with Jay Z, wouldn’t she want to like, lay low?

Hilariously, Beyoncé fans (myself included) thought everyone was talking about Rachel Ray. Hours before the Lemonade premiere, I coincidentally saw Roy’s book at Barnes and Noble and thought it was Ray’s because WHO THE F-CK IS RACHEL ROY?

As of writing, Rita Ora just helped herself to a plate of “B-tch please” with this Snapchat:

Notice how she’s trying to make herself a part of the conversation. Did she purchase the props just for this occasion?

The only thing that could make this train wreck even more delicious were if Rihanna were to instagram a picture of herself with Jay Z.

Do you think Beyoncé's irritated that all these b-tches are trying to steal her thunder? Or is she satisfied that her work is done, kind of like Regina George after putting copies of the Burn Book all over school?

Another question: Has the Blue Ivy Carter seen Lemonade? Because she’s probably going to end up hating her dad by the end of it.

Image credit: HBO

#Beyoncé #JayZ #Lemonade #review #music #RachelRoy #RitaOra