Guess which trick wore the most expensive Oscars dress
One of my favorite quotes of all time is from the amazing Dolly Parton: “It costs a lot to look this cheap.”
What’s so beautiful about that sentence is the self-awareness. Something that most celebrities lack. Ahem.
For some reason, Forbes calculated which Oscar nominee wore the most expensive dress. Is that an accomplishment now? I mean, MTV has a “Best Shirtless Performance”, so why the hell not? The United States of America might be run by Donald Trump soon. We’ve reached peak Idiocracy.
So which trick wore the most overpriced gown? Was it Kate Winslet, who swaddled herself in silk lame, I mean lamé? Was Ralph Lauren trolling, or was she purposely trying not to steal the spotlight from her fake boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio? Or maybe Winslet couldn’t afford a better gown since she’d rather get her teeth pulled than ask for equal pay.
It couldn’t be American citizen, Reese #AskHerMore Witherspoon, who wore a discount bridesmaid dress, complete with extra taffeta flapping off her ass. Is this like Seinfeld, where she has a closet full of the same gowns, just in different primary colors?
Nay, our winner today is Charlotte Rampling, who was surprisingly not dressed in hundred dollar bills. She rocked a $125,000 Swarovski crystal-encrusted Armani Privé gown and a priceless RBF to match. While all these other b-tches were complaining about diversity, Rampling shut the haters down looking like a grumpy sloth in flats.