In a world where everyone is trying to top each other’s proposals (one company will even help yours go viral), one man went so far as to stage a fake one to his girlfriend after finding out about her infidelity. In the 16-minute long video he posted to YouTube under the name beanyneilpudsey, he spent the first half explaining his diabolical plan to publicly humiliate his girlfriend, Alex. (Unfortunately, beanyneilpudsey couldn’t be bothered to remove his f-cking gum before speaking.) From candles to glitter, he even included a fake trip to see the Northern Lights. As in, leading his soon-to-be-ex to believe that they’d be going on a romantic trip together.
I had a hard time watching Alex read a (fake) love letter on a bed surrounded by confetti. She pauses several times to wipe her nose, as she flips through several pages of presumably nice things beanyneilpudsey had to say before crushing her dreams. Finally, after what seems like hours of pandering, he gleefully pops the question:
When owls fly and twit twit ta woo
Here’s the big question I’m asking you
WHO THE F-CK IS THOMAS RUE?
Before we can see poor Alex’s reaction, beanyneilpudsey slams the door and runs down the stairs to his getaway car, but not before slipping his key through the mail slot.
At this point, beanyneilpudsey is feeling like the big man on campus. He slips on his shades and blares some awful disco music in his crappy car. What’s even more bizarre, is how he manages to drive while filming himself singing to a big red dildo.
A month after posting “the best dumping video of a cheating girl you will ever see” online, this douchebag has already gotten over 10 million views. Unsurprisingly, the comments are filled with other dude bros congratulating beanyneilpudsey on putting his ex in her place.
I never thought I’d despise anything more than the promposal, but I was wrong. This video made me so uncomfortable. Yes, Alex was dishonest, but we never get to hear her side of the story because her stupid boyfriend slams the door in her face. Cheater or not, nobody deserves that.
Also, wouldn’t it have been easier and less time-consuming to, I don’t know, communicate?
Of course not. That would’ve been boring and therefore pointless. Nothing holds meaning anymore unless it’s public. Not even a fake proposal.
There’s something almost perversely romantic about the whole scenario. The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference. And the amount of effort this guy put into his fake proposal is so detailed, it’s like the real deal. If beanyneilpudsey weren’t so preoccupied with looking like a macho dude bro, you’d think he was heartbroken about the whole thing.
I’ve seen firsthand that revenge accomplishes nothing. It makes for a good story, but that’s it. The damage isn’t worth it, for either party. It takes a much stronger person to forgive and move on.
But what am I saying? Let’s watch this guy drive off into the sunset singing to a dildo.
Image credit: Getty