"I love your mother's cookies" review

January 31, 2015

 

What I love about The Boy Next Door (aside from its porno name) is that it doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not. It’s delightfully self-aware in its crappiness. J-Lo plays a recently divorced MILF who sleeps with the hottest and oldest-looking teenager in the world only to find out he’s a violent stalker.

 

Noah’s biceps are the first thing we see of him when he sweeps in to fix J-Lo’s car. His muscles are even given their own montage as she gazes longingly out the window. He also spits out memorable one-liners like “Dude, you gotta read the Iliad” and “Homer is badass”. 

 

After their one-night stand, the man-child joins the English class J-Lo teaches at the local high school. He befriends her son, Kevin (played by the adorable Ian Nelson) and tries to turn him against his father. There are obvious clues violence will ensue with a gun and knife showing up early in the movie. Oh, and Kevin is allergic to bees.

 

There is one shot where Noah is giving an evil monologue to one of his victims as the camera slowly pans out. I kept expecting something really vile or gross to enter the frame and it was… Not. So look out for that.

 

Ultimately you should go see this movie. It’s super fun and it’ll hold you off until Kingsman: The Secret Service comes out.

 

 

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