Not bad, not good, just nice

Credit: Walt Disney Pictures

Before we get into this, let me start by saying I’M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH COLLEGE Y’ALL! I’m back in California for Christmas and so I’ve been too busy eating pie to update. I’ve finally had a chance to catch up on movies, so we’re back in business.

Into the Woods was okay. To paraphrase the witch, it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good, it was just nice. So what was good?

The soundtrack was great. I was annoying my whole family by singing I WISH TO GO TO THE FESTIVAL all day. I am listening to it right now.

You can definitely hear who’s had the most vocal training, such as Anna Kendrick as Cinderella and Lilla Crawford as Little Red Riding Hood, who was a last minute replacement for Sophia Grace, THANK GOD. If you care enough to remember, Grace is that hyperactive little girl who sings “Super Bass” on Ellen.

I felt like Meryl Streep’s opening song as the witch was kind of underwhelming, especially when you compare it to Vanessa Williams’ version. Also, did anyone notice the sweet irony when the witch was saying “There’s no baby in there!” to the baker’s barren wife, when Emily Blunt looked really pregnant? At least film above the waist!

Can someone explain to me why some characters have American accents and British accents? The story’s obviously set in medieval Britain. This always bugs me in movies. But this is a postmodern fairy tale, so whatever.

As far as consistency goes, Into the Woods is a mess. The stories are disjointed, with some characters seeming unnecessary. With a cast that big, there’s only so much time for character development. By the end of the movie, it looks like their arcs are just being ticked off a list.

The film’s saving grace is the music. My favorite song was “No One is Alone”. That part killed me. I’ve attached the video below.

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