I should have listened

Credit: Warner Bros.

Everyone told me not to see Dark Shadows, but me being the stubborn Capricorn that I am, dragged my sister to see it anyway. I am a fan of Tim Burton, and more importantly, I have an unhealthy crush on Eva Green.

I was so determined to like this movie, that the entire time I was desperately searching for a redeeming quality that could make me enjoy it. It had so much potential to be really good: The entire cast individually gave a stellar performance. The color scheme stayed true to Burton’s aesthetic, while the costumes and makeup were a throwback to classical vampires. I remember Johnny Depp saying he and Burton were determined to make a movie where the vampires actually looked like vampires and not “underwear models”. There were all the ingredients to make this a blockbuster movie. The main problem was the story.

Time and again, good movies fail because the most important component is the story. You can’t build a house on a crappy foundation. So many conflicts are introduced in the beginning, but the movie keeps changing focus. Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) has been eternally damned to life as a vampire by evil witch, Angel (Eva Green) because of her unrequited love for him. He wakes up two centuries later in the 1970s and returns to the Collins mansion. Now he is trying to help the family resurrect their fish company, which is competing with Angel’s neighboring empire.

I won’t give away the ending, but I felt like there were so many loose ends and random, unnecessary plot reveals. On the bright side, I was pleasantly surprised by Eva Green’s American accent. I love her raspy, pack-a-day English accent, and if I ever try to imitate one, she is my muse. Had I not known she was French, I would’ve believed she were a bonafide Yankee. Despite all the negative reviews, she was the main reason I went to see this movie. That woman is a godDESS.

As a last note, I loved the soundtrack, especially the use of Barry White’s “You Are My First, My Last, My Everything” during the sex scene. It made me wish they would play that song in every raunchy True Blood scene.

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