Breaking Dawn director's cut?


I am a closet Twilight fan. Although it’s the worst kept secret since my sister is quick to point out my shame to friends. I am so embarrassed about it that when she got me a big Breaking Dawn poster it was quickly shoved to the back of my closet (for which I received a massive eye roll). So you can imagine my awkwardness when I went alone to the opening night of Breaking Dawn Part 1, surrounded by women that were too old to be there in Team Whatever shirts. It was in that moment I empathized with my guy friend, who I had dragged to a Katy Perry concert.

Breaking Dawn Part 1 was handled very well, considering how long the book is. The only complaint among fans: The sex scenes were really… Short. Don’t get me wrong, they’re hot to watch, but as an audience member you almost feel bad for Edward. After a year of being built up as a bed breaking sex god, he climaxes within a minute of the scene.

I was laughing when the director, Bill Condon was bragging about his cleverness in an interview: Tricking the audience into thinking the scene’s over, but then… Wait! There’s More! Cue Bella’s memories of nuzzling noses and butterfly kisses.

According to Condon himself, the only way to get down to a PG-13 rating was to heavily edit and censor the sex scenes. My question: Why is America so afraid of sex? God forbid a child sees a nipple onscreen, they will be traumatized for the rest of their lives. How generous of the studio then to allow us a glimpse of Bella’s side boob. I’m going to assume because of the Twilight series’ widespread influence on teen audiences, the studio had to be extra uptight. Otherwise I’ve seen other movies get away with so much more even with a PG-13 rating.

Rumors have been floating around about the mysterious existence of a director’s cut of Breaking Dawn. One with deleted and extended scenes. (*wink wink, nudge nudge) Therefore I have a theory. Similar to their re-release of Eclipse in theaters for a week following Bella’s fictional birthday (yes, fans would remember this), I have a strong feeling Lionsgate will start issuing copies of a director’s cut on Edward and Bella’s wedding anniversary: August 13th.

Keep in mind this is a theory based on trends I notice in heavy marketing. And Twilight does it like no other. Last year there was a “guest book” which fans could sign for the impending wedding of Edward and Bella. Why wouldn’t Lionsgate try to make more money by re-releasing the DVD on a fictional wedding anniversary?

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