
Margot Robbie b-tch slapped Alexander Skarsgård during a sex scene
In what has become my favorite headline of the day, director David Yates talked to Entertainment Weekly about casting Margot Robbie as Jane in Legend of Tarzan. He keeps insisting that she’s the “anti-damsel” and that she can “take care of herself”. Whatever, dude. Trailers one and two make her look like a human blowup doll. But I digress. Robbie was shooting a sex scene with Skarsgård, when Yates asked her to slap her co-star. “They’re doing this love scene together, and I s

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2: BIGGER FATTER GREEKER WEDDINGER
To continue with our sh-tty nostalgia reboot theme (ahem, like Bridget Jones’s Baby and Legend of Tarzan), here is yet another sequel no one asked for: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2: BIGGER FATTER GREEKER WEDDINGER. Seventeen years after Toula’s (Nia Vardalos) big, fat Greek wedding to her xénos, Ian (John Corbett), it turns out her parents’ marriage certificate is invalid. Matriarch, Maria (Lainie Kazan) only agrees to marry father, Gus (Michael Constantine) if they can do it p

Batman v Superman didn’t suck ass
SPOILER FREE I never thought I’d be writing that headline, but that’s the beauty of having low expectations. I came in expecting the movie to blow, and instead begrudgingly found myself liking it. That said, “not sucking” doesn’t equal “excellent.” Good GOD, this movie takes itself so seriously. There is zero irony, because everything everyone says is uttered with maximum melodrama. Jesse Eisenberg seemed to be the only one aware of this and cranked the camp up to 100. And th

Beyoncé won't give us our release until she's ready
According to Shady Music Facts, Beyoncé's iTunes page was briefly down yesterday. And 13 unlisted videos have been added to her VEVO channel. So now there's speculation that her album will be released on April 4, her eighth wedding anniversary. As all devotees know, she has a thing for the number four. Do you think she'll soon be too exclusive for iTunes? I’m not going to get into the pros and cons of Tidal, which I already wrote about on Tremr. But we can all agree that it’s

It’s official: The Legend of Tarzan looks dumb
As I was saying in my Bridget Jones’s Baby post, Hollywood has been seriously lacking in solid original ideas. Which leads us to our next sh-tty nostalgia reboot: The Legend of Tarzan. I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt when the teaser came out, but now that we have a full trailer, I can now confirm that it looks stupid. If you don’t have the patience to sit through two and a half minutes of dumb, here’s a summary: Gorilla, baby, abs, Jane, Jane wet, Jane being

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is like Eat, Pray, Love in Kabul
Which, correct me if I’m wrong, wasn’t their intention. But unfortunately, that’s what you get in this surprisingly apolitical black comedy. I saw this on opening day because I love movies about journalists. I especially love reading about female war correspondents, so this was right up my alley. Tina Fey stars as Kim, a reporter who, fed up with her humdrum desk job, signs up to become a war journalist in Afghanistan. There, she clumsily learns the ropes of shadowing soldier

WTF is Ed Sheeran doing in Bridget Jones’s Baby?
Because apparently movie producers are running out of good ideas, 2016 has been the year of sh-tty nostalgia reboots (don’t worry, Star Wars, you get a pass). You know, movies and shows you kind of liked at the time, but like that guy you went out with that one time, you wouldn’t go back there. Universal Pictures has obviously decided to go back there, because they dropped the first trailer for Bridget Jones’s Spawn yesterday, and oh boy, it’s like a high school reunion no on

Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children is basically a twee X-Men
And Miss Peregrine (Eva Green) is Professor X. There are elements of Harry Potter, too with all this talk about our hero being “the one.” By the way, have you seen the Maze Runner parody on SNL? It’s perfection. Tim Burton has been churning out sh-t for a while now. Not unlike Woody Allen. I was having a conversation with some friends where I compared Woody Allen to Britney Spears. Stay with me! Basically, they’re both able to sell sh-t now because they have cultivated a lega

Love in the time of dial up: Operator review
Since its premiere at SXSW, Operator has been compared to Her and Black Mirror, but I’d liken it to a Twilight Zone episode. It’s less sci-fi and more romantic drama. The fact that the story’s based in reality makes it seem chillingly possible. Martin Starr plays Joe, a personality designer for digital customer service voices. Prone to crippling panic attacks, he tracks every aspect of his life to help control his anxiety. When his latest robo-agent crashes and burns, he uses

The Lonely Island has its own movie now
Here’s a fun fact: My mom and I have a mutual love of The Lonely Island. She’s a huge fan of Andy Samberg, and watches Brooklyn Nine-Nine religiously (even though I don’t get it). Have you seen his commencement speech at Harvard Law? You should watch it if only to see the expression on all the father’s faces in the audience. Also, can we all agree that Harvard was kind of trolling? As much as I love him as an actor and “musician”, none of the movies he’s headlined have done v