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Michael Jackson’s road trip with Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando will be a movie

Michael Jackson’s road trip with Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando will be a movie

This is already my favorite road movie, and it hasn’t even been made yet. On the Road can take a f-cking hike, because who else can show you beauty and freedom other than the legendary Liz Taylor? For some reason when I read about this, I immediately imagined her chain smoking in the driver’s seat. When The Guardian reported that Joseph Fiennes would play Michael Jackson, the world was like, “WTF?” (I demand to see that audition tape.) I have more faith in Stockard Channing a

Room review

Room review

My sister and I went to see Room last week, not to be confused with The Room, the excellent 2003 film by Tommy Wiseau. It’s horrifying, if not more so than the novel. It’s about five-year-old Jack (Jacob Tremblay) and his ma, Joy (Brie Larson), who have been living as hostages in a man’s garden shed since the day he was born. After escaping captivity, they must learn to adjust to the outside world. The movie starts on the morning of Jack’s birthday, when his mom announces the

Romeo & Juliet sequel coming to ABC

Romeo & Juliet sequel coming to ABC

At first, I thought this meant Baz Luhrmann was directing an accompaniment to the spectacular 1996 film, but then I found out it’s being produced by Shondaland. No offense to Shonda Rhimes, who I LOVE (The Year of Yes is on my wish list), but her shows are too cheesy for me. Still Star-Crossed will take place after Romeo and Juliet off themselves, which is probably for the best, since they’re both selfish assholes. The show, which is based on Melinda Taub’s novel of the same

High School Musical cast reuniting for 10-year reunion

High School Musical cast reuniting for 10-year reunion

Goddamn, is it that time already? Ten years ago, I was a dweeby 14-year-old living in Switzerland. My sister and I used to sing along to High School Musical with our friends after school. I’d go to sleep fantasizing about Zac Efron’s pre-teen abs and bowl cut. The summer High School Musical 2 came out, my sister and I borrowed a bootleg copy from a friend and binge watched it. The cast reunited on Saturday to tape some interviews for the upcoming telecast on Wednesday. But um

The Evolution of Taylor Swift

The Evolution of Taylor Swift

This will be the name of my TED Talk someday, FYI. BuzzFeed published an in-depth analysis of Taylor Swift’s comeback in 2014. Within a year and a half, T-Swizzles has transformed herself from that bitter ex-girlfriend to the ringleader of a massive #GirlSquad. She’s not just a girl. She’s a f-cking movement. So many of you have become Swift fans without even realizing it. Others are “Born Again Swiftians”, as I like to call them. The point is she’s gotten into our heads and

Anne Hathaway defends Jennifer Lawrence in the most annoying way possible

Anne Hathaway defends Jennifer Lawrence in the most annoying way possible

Anne Hathaway wants us to leave Jennifer “Jenny From the Block” Lawrence alone. After scolding a reporter for looking at his phone during her post-Golden Globe win press conference, a lot of people are saying she was being kind of a b-tch. See for yourself (at 5:08): She seemed pretty rude to me. Especially considering that Juan Pablo Fernández-Feo is a foreign journalist. Some have speculated he was reading his questions off his phone, since he’s a non-Native English speaker

Goodnight Mommy review

Goodnight Mommy review

My mom and I watched this during the daytime, because we didn’t think we’d be able to handle it. But Goodnight Mommy (Ich seh, ich seh) isn’t scary so much as unsettling. It’s a slow, quiet film that ends with a sucker punch. Twins, Lukas and Elias (Lukas and Elias Schwarz) move to a new home in the Austrian countryside after their mother (Susanne Wuest), a former TV personality, has cosmetic surgery on her face. But when she comes home, the boys are convinced that the woman

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